Why Must Love Make Us Suffer?
by Prettywitchiusaka
Summary: Patton hasn't seen Rachel much lately, and is beginning to wonder why she's acting so cold towards him now. This only brings him more confusion once she brings up to Global Command to fight. But what could she really want? 60/362


Hello everyone! Wow, it's been awhile since I last posted something on this website, hasn't it? Well regardless, I'm back with a string of new one-shots that I've written earlier throughout this year. The one that is before you is actually a story I had concepted back in late 2009, and wrote in early February of this year.

While not as long as my last one-shot, it's still pretty long, so I advise every one to take a small break in between if need be. Other than that, enjoy! Also, let me know how you felt, but please no flames.

Why Must Love make us Suffer?

By Prettywitchiusaka

Wing B-29; it was a cold, deathly silent corridor of Kids Next Door Global Command, which almost no one came through due to its creepy atmosphere. Ironically enough, the sounds of a pair of boots could be heard progressing through the corridor. Those footsteps belonging to none other than Patton Drilovsky, or Numbuh 60, Drill Sergeant Supreme of Kids Next Door Arctic Base. As the young Drill Sergeant sternly walked through the corridor, he could not help but ponder one simple question; why was he needed here? He knew it was because Rachel, or Numbuh 362, his old friend and Supreme Leader wanted to speak to him (via anonymous message), but why in a creepy place like this corridor he wondered. This was a curious question to him, especially since as of late; the young girl had been acting cold and distant towards him. This of course, led to something else the noble Drill Sergeant questioned; why was she acting so cold towards him? True, he had been avoiding her as of late as well. But as far as he was concerned, at least his reasons for doing so were somewhat legitimate. Although curious to find the answers to these questions, Patton had no time to think. For now he stood in front of an odd looking door, the name of the room in gold plating resting above the odd looking door.

...  
Kids Next Door I.L.L.U.S.O.C.A.B.I.N.

Incredibly Long Lasting Ultra Simulator Object Creates Amazingly Bigtastic Image Navigator

Wasting no time, the raven-haired boy quickly opened the door and stepped into the room, allowing the door to close and disappear behind him. Upon doing so, the young Drill Sergeant felt himself become wide-eyed as he stared at the simulated environment around him. His surroundings turned out to be a desert like environment, with rock the formations and platforms as far as the eye can see.

"Okay", he replied, weirded out by the imagery around him.

"Hello Patton", said a cold yet angelic sounding voice, one which Patton instantly recognized to be Rachel's.

"So, it seems you got my invitation. I assume you were aware that the invitation was from me as well", she said in a cold tone.

"Of course. Aside from Numbuhs 1 and 273, you're one of the only few people I know who talks with big words and poetic devices", he sternly replied.

"You sound angry", she coldly replied.

"Of course I'm angry", he angrily replied. "I don't understand any of this Rachel!"

"You don't understand", the young blonde asked coldly.

"No, I don't", he shouted, his anger continuing to rise as he did. "I don't understand why you called me out here the way you did! I don't understand why you're acting like this!"

"Simple...because I want to punish you", she said in a calm, yet cold sounding tone, one which confused Patton as he began to look around for her.

"Punish me! What for!", the raven haired boy angrily asked as he continued to look around for her, his annoyance continuing to grow with every passing second as he continued to do so. "What could I have possibly done to receive punishment from you!"

"You made me feel like I was a worthless piece of dirt...isn't that punishment enough", she asked in a cold tone.

Upon hearing those words, Patton turned around to face his friend and superior, who stood on one of the rock platforms. Her staff she held firmly in her hand, and a stern yet cold look was present on her beautiful face as she stared at Patton, who could do nothing more than sadly stare at her in shock. Twirling her staff in her hand a few times before she tightened her grip once more, the warrior like girl leaped into the air, screaming out a battle cry as she came down and swung the staff at her reluctant opponent. Although surprised by this, the young boy drew his sword from his sheath, defending himself just in time as their two weapons clashed. Gaining the upper hand, Patton managed to fling his opponent away from his blade. Rachel however managed to land on her feet and go into a squatting position, prepared to take another strike. Jumping onto her feet, the young blonde ran towards her opponent and swung her staff at him once more. To her surprise though, the raven-haired boy jumped up to dodge, landing back on his feet soon afterwards.

"Funny", he said in a light tone as she continued to try and attack him. "I seem to recall that move I just did happening the last time we fought.

"Shut-up and fight", the young blonde angrily shouted as she swung her staff at him once more, causing Patton to defend himself by putting up his blade.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you this aggressive before in a battle" the young Drill Sergeant sternly said as they continued to aggressively clash their metal weapons together.

"Well then obviously you've never seen me pissed off at my opponent before", the young blonde angrily said as she sent a powerful roundhouse kick towards his head, one that he managed to dodge.

"I still don't get what I did to make you so mad", he replied.

"Oh, so you haven't noticed how you've been acting towards me lately", she angrily replied as she continued to become more aggressive in her attacks towards him.

"What are you talking about", he shouted as they continued to battle.

"You've been acting strange around me lately! You used to act so sweet to me, so kind to me, you treated me like a person instead of a leader", she angrily stated as she continued to fiercely attack him with her staff, Patton doing his best to defend himself as she did.

"I really have no idea where you're going with this", the young Drill Sergeant stated as he tried to bring his blade for an attack, only to cut off a significantly small lock of hair as his opponent gracefully dodged his attack.

"You fail to see where I'm going with this! You're the one who keeps avoiding me!", sh screamed at him. "You won't talk to me like you used to! You won't comfort me like you used to! You won't even tease me the way you used to! And you expect me to be okay with that, especially after how sorry you felt about the ZERO incident" she screamed, the pain she felt clearly came out in her words as she spoke.

Upon hearing those words, the raven-haired boy stared up at her in shock. Never once in a million years would he have guessed that she was angry with him for that, and yet at the same time he could see why she would be. He had hurt her, and deeply from what her anger filled eyes suggested. But he hadn't intended on hurting her, he had just intended on avoiding her for a while until he was ready to fully be her friend again. But as this thought process continued to run through his head, Patton just stood there, lost in his own world. Unfortunately, he was completely oblivious to Rachel running to attack him in an angry rage until the last second, when he put up his blade for protection once more.

"You're mad about that", he asked in surprise as the two continued to clash their weapons together.

"Of course! But then again, by your logic, that shouldn't bother me now, should it", the young blonde angrily asked him as she continued to violently swing her weapon at him, only to have him dodge at every chance he got.

"I didn't mean to hurt you", Patton angrily stated as their weapons clashed once more.

"Oh, so now your being Mr. Sensitivity", she angrily replied as she threw her staff towards him, only to have him back-flip and land on his feet in order to dodge. The young boy attempted to try attacking her, but the young girl threw her staff up in defence before it could ever reach her.

"Look, it's not like I-"

"Hurt me! Neglected me! Made me feel like I had done something wrong! That I will always be nothing more than a pile of shit to anyone else", the young blonde replied as she charged towards him, only for Patton to back-flip and dodge her attack once more.

"Why do you even care so much", he angrily asked, curious to know her answer as she ran towards him once more, their weapons clashing as she did.

"Because Patton...you're one of my closest and dearest friends. I don't have many friends as great as you and Fanny", she replied in a calm yet stern tone, one which surprised Patton.

"Besides...I don't like being rejected by people I care about", Rachel angrily replied as she finally hit Patton's shoulder hard with her Yield sign. Although cringing for a moment at the soreness in his shoulder, the noble boy looked up at her sternly, opening his mouth to speak as he did.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. But I wasn't avoiding you because I don't care about you", the young Drill Sergeant sternly replied, praying that his words reach her, for they were the truth.

"Oh really! Then why did you", she angrily asked him.

"Because I...I...I just still have some guilt left over from the ZERO is all", he replied in a sincere yet embarrassed tone.

Upon hearing these words, a look of surprise formed on the young girl's beautiful face, her look causing Patton to look down and blush in embarrassment. Whether she was going to believe him or not he couldn't tell, but given her expression, he hoped that perhaps they could end this pointless fighting and talk this over, just as he had wanted. Much to his surprise though, Rachel charged towards him once more, and the two continued their duel; almost as if his words had not reached, or almost as if this small incident had never happened.

"You're still brooding over that", the young blonde angrily asked.

"Hey, let's see you try and get over something horrible you did", the noble Drill Sergeant said in defence to her comment.

" How do I know that's even the case", she sternly asked.

"What do you mean", he asked in a confused tone, curious about what she meant.

"I mean that perhaps you still feel loyalty towards Grandfather. Maybe that's why you've been avoiding me, because you wish to bring about my downfall, just like you did during ZERO", the young girl said in a stern yet calculative manner.

Upon hearing those words, Patton felt himself become deeply angered with his lovely young superior. Feeling his strength rise along with his anger, the raven haired boy angrily and forcefully flung his opponent away from his blade. Being the graceful acrobatic she was, Rachel managed to gracefully land on her feet as she stared angrily at him, her opponent doing the same as a look of anger became clear in his gentle black eyes.

"I still can't let go of my guilt towards you, and my guilt towards abandoning my values. I feel nothing towards that Son of a Bitch", the young boy said in a deep, angered tone.

"Oh, don't make me laugh Patton. You obviously seem to, seeing as how you had so much fun conforming me the first time.", she said in a spiteful tone.

"You really think I wanted to do that? You think I wanted to laugh at you defeat? To transform you? To destroy whom you are? To damn you to that monstrous existence! No, I didn't", the young boy angrily replied to the stern looking girl, his voice continuing to rise along with his anger as he spoke. "I'm not loyal to Grandfather, or Chad, or anyone else! I know where my loyalties lie!"

"Oh really, and where do you loyalties lie", she sternly asked as a moment of silence came between them. One, which was broken when Patton opened his mouth to speak, staring intently at his opponent as he did.

"My loyalties lie with you", he said in a stern yet calm tone, one that caused the young blonde's beautiful face to soften. Shrugging it off though, Rachel returned to being stern once more as she opened her mouth to speak.

"So you admit it, you love me", she angrily asked him, patiently awaiting his answer as she did. After a small moment of silence, the now angry looking Patton opened his mouth to speak.

"Fine...I admit it...I love you", the young boy sternly yet calmly said as he went to attack her, only to have their weapons clash with one another.

"I love your eyes...I love your smile...I love your hair...I love your slender body", he said as anger began to seep into his voice, all the while continuing to slash at her.

"I love your stern and assertive composure...I love your intelligence and maturity", the raven-haired boy angrily stated as he sent his blade towards her, only to have Rachel gracefully back flip in order to dodge. Jumping into the air, Patton came down towards Rachel, prepared to pull the blade down for a strike. At the last second however, the young blonde threw her staff up in defence, causing him to land on his feet and stare at her in angry determination.  
"I love your gentle heart…I love how passionate you are about justice", the young Drill Sergeant angrily stated as he began to lash at her in a more aggressive manner, something that surprised Rachel.

"I love how excited you get over things… I love how you take charge in a situation", he angrily stated as Rachel went to strike him with the end of her staff, only for Patton to dodge.

"I love how you always stand up for your beliefs and those you care about… I love how cute you look when you get angry", he angrily said as he began to aggressively lash his blade at his opponent, causing the young blonde to have troubles keeping up with his attacks.

"I love your voice…I love your laugh…but most of all I love how human you are; that even though you have flaws you accept them and try to make up for your mistakes", he angrily stated as their weapons clashed once more.

"Everything that makes you Rachel McKenzie, I love", he angrily screamed at her as their weapons remained in a lock. Upon hearing those words, the young blonde's face softened, proving that she was touched by his declaration of love. Shrugging it off though, the young blonde angrily flung him away with her staff, only to watch him land on his feet and stare angrily at her, she doing the same.

" I see…so that's how you feel about me", the young blonde said in a stern yet calculative tone.

"It is…I love you Rachel…I've been in love with you for four years…and I haven't regretted my feelings for a single moment", the young Drill Sergeant replied in a stern yet angry tone. "But to you, I guess anything that comes out of my mouth now is a lie."

"Oh I don't think it's a lie…I just don't think you understand the consequences of loving me", she sternly replied as she ran towards him and clashed her staff with his blade, continuing their duel.

"Trust me, I know the consequences of loving you", he sternly replied.

"Really? And yet you continue to love me", she asked in a stern yet angry tone.

"Oh course! I could never stop loving you Rachel! In fact, I love you so much that I want to help you when you're in need, I want to protect you when you need protection", Patton replied in a stern yet sincere tone.

"Well I must admit, I am flattered. Tell me, just why am I so worthy of protection", she sternly asked as their duel began to become more aggressive.

"Because I think of all your traits; all these traits I love about you…all these traits that make me love you as much as I do… and all it makes me want to do is take you into my arms and protect you from everything that threatens you", the young boy angrily replied as he grew more aggressive in his attacks, his words and his moves surprising his opponent once more their duel became aggressive once more. Shrugging it off though, Rachel stared at him with an angry expression on her beautiful face as she opened her mouth to speak.

"But you could die in the process", she angrily stated.

"I don't care", he angrily barked back, his response shocking her slightly.

"What! You mean to tell me that I'm more valuable to you than your own life", the young blonde angrily asked him as their weapons locked once more.

"You are Rachel. I love you more than life itself, my life means nothing if you don't exist. If you die, I die", he shouted in pure aggressive, his words surprising Rachel. A moment of silence came upon them as the young blonde took a moment to absorb his words, feeling touched by them. Refusing to let her guard down however, she shrugged them off and continued to angrily stare at her opponent once more, running over towards him to attack him once more as she did.

" I get it now, you're selflessly in love with me", she sternly replied. 'or as much as you can stand to be."

"What do you mean", Patton sternly asked.

"You're conflicted, aren't you? You selflessly love me, and yet simultaneously you want me all to yourself", she sternly observed.

"Oh as if that wasn't obvious", he barked at her as their weapons clashed once more.

"So it's true. Tell me, would you even consent to making me yours", she angrily asked.

" I won't lie Rachel, I want you all to myself, sometimes even more than I want to protect you", he replied in a stern yet sincere tone. "But in the end, I always realize that I must respect your feelings. So even if I can only love you selflessly, as long as I can be with you as friend then that's good enough for me!"

"Oh please Patton, I'm not that worthwhile", she sternly replied. "Am I worth sacrificing all that you value!

"Yes you are. I would gladly sacrifice my honour, my life, my life, my values, and even my position in the Kids next Door for your sake", he sternly replied in an angered tone.

"But you could die", she sternly replied.

"I don't care! As someone who loves you, I refuse to let you die", he shouted.

"And as your Supreme Leader, I can't allow you to do that", she shouted back.

And as she spoke, the young girl pulled up the boxing glove of her staff and punched her opponent hard in the face, causing him to collapse to the simulated ground, his sword landing not too far away from where he lay. A long pause of silence came over the room as Patton lay on the floor, wincing in slight pain from the blow he had just endured. Although he continued to feel the pain run through his body, the young Drill Sergeant began to sit himself up. But before he could stand himself up, he looked up to face Rachel, a stern look clear on her beautiful face as she stared at him. All the while, he stared at her in confusion, unsure of what she would do next. Before he could make any sudden movements, the young girl leaned down and caressed his cheek, proceeding to passionately kiss him soon after. Although taken aback by this, Patton gave into his desires and passionately kissed back, continuing their first moment of eternal bliss. The moment seemed like it would continue for eternity, or at least it seemed that way until the young girl finished the kiss. The two then proceeded to stare sincerely yet sadly at each other, or at least until Rachel opened her mouth to speak.

" I love you Patton", she softly whispered to him as Patton sadly stared at her, surprised by her answer.

"You…you love me…", he whispered in a sad tone, shock clear in his voice as he continued to hear her words run through his head.

"I do…but I'm afraid we can't be together", she spoke in a stern yet soft tone as she stood herself up.

"I'm just that unattainable", she spoke softly as she turned around to walk away, leaving Patton in stunned silence, feelings of sadness running through him as he did. Shortly after though, that sadness became anger; anger towards her answer. His anger continued to seep through him as he gently yet firmly grabbed her by the wrist, surprising the young Supreme leader and causing her to face an angry looking Patton once more.

"Only because you make yourself unattainable", he replied in a stern yet angry tone, one which surprised Rachel as he stood up to face her. A look of anger and calm determination was clear on his face as he stared at his beloved angel, all the while keeping a firm grip on her hand as he did.

"Look…I understand that you can't forgive your parents for what they did to you…but Rachel… I would never leave you…", he replied in a sternly yet calm manner, his words surprising her once more. "Even if I was decommissioned and couldn't remember you… I will find a way back to you…Because decommissioned can only erase memories…it can't erase feelings".

"Look…I'm flattered by that, but I can't be with you like that", she said in a melancholy tone.

"Why not", he asked in a stern yet calm tone.

"Why not? Why not? Patton, think about who we are", she replied in an angry yet melancholy tone. "We're high ranking operatives! Us being together could cause problems for the Kids Next Door!"

"Okay…I see your point there…But if we kept it secret, I don't see any problem", the young boy spoke in a soft tone, one which seemed to set Rachel into a panicky state.

"No! Please don't force me to do this", she pleaded in a fit hysteria, trying to break free of Patton's grasp as he continued to stare at her as she did.

"I'm not forcing you", the young boy sternly said.

"Oh sure, you're not forcing me. "Rachel, be mine", that's what you're saying", she angrily replied.

"Only because I know you want me"", he sternly replied. And as he did, Rachel continued to stare at him, a melancholy look on her face as she allowed his words to sink in once more. After a small moment of silence, she opened her mouth to speak once more.

"Patton… I can't love you…I shouldn't even love you as much as I do", she said.

"But you do", he said.

"Yes…I do", she spoke in a soft yet sincere tone, the gentle look of love in her beautiful eyes signifying the truth of her words. "But I can't be with you."

"But why can't you-"

"Because I can't allow my judgement to be clouded", she shouted. "As Supreme Leader of the Kids Next Door, I can't allow myself to be selfish. I can only be selfless in my treatment and judgement of my operatives!"

"Oh for god sake Rachel, why don't you just act selfish for once in your life", he angrily asked.

"Because I refuse to take any risks with the Kids Next Door", she shouted back.

"I understand, but if you don't take some risks with your life or your job then you'll continue to suffer", he shouted at her as he grabbed her by the arms. Although shocked by this, the young blonde did nothing more than stare at him sadly, almost as if she was a lost puppy looking for a home.

"I appreciate you wanting to help me… but I'm afraid I must remain an isolated figure…", she spoke in a sad tone, one which brought a sad expression to his handsome face.

"But why", he asked.

"Because I can't risk you, or anyone else I love for that matter sacrificing themselves…the consequences would be too great", she calmly stated. "Besides…I can't forgive myself if you die because of me…"

"Rachel-"

"What? Are you going to say that won't happen? You know you can't keep that promise! Not to me, not to anyone", she angrily said to him. Sighing, he looked up at her once more, a sad expression clear on his face as he went to speak.

"No…I can't keep that promise to you…or anyone…But Rachel…even if I die… I will always be with you…", he said in a sincere, honest tone, his words retouching her once more. Still being resistive though, she shrugged off his words as best she could and opened her mouth to speak once more.

"No, Patton. I may be willing to sacrifice everything I have for your sake as well…But I can't let you die because of me…the pain would be too great…", she sadly stated.

"I'm sorry Rachel…but my heart only belongs to you", he sincerely stated, a look of true love clear in his gentle eyes as he continued to stare at her. "I will be your servant forever…"

"No…", she softly spoke as she tried to resist him once more.

"If you are my master…"

"No…", she softly repeated as he came closer towards her beautiful face, love still clearly in his eyes as he did.

"Patton…we're friends and superiors…even if our feelings surpass those relationship we already have, we can't cross that line", she desperately stated, trying to make her last stance to shoo him away, for she knew she could not resist him for much longer.

"It's too late for that", he calmly stated.

And with that, the noble Drill Sergeant leaned in and kissed his beloved angel's lips. Although taken aback by this, the young girl gave into her desires and passionately kissed her beloved hero back, allowing her staff to fall to the ground as they deepened the kiss; she resting her hands on his warm chest while he wrapped his strong arms around her slender waist. Like the previous one, their second kiss was that of peaceful oblivion, one from which neither of them wanted to escape from. But just like the previous one, they both eventually came up for a breath of fresh air. As they did however, Patton became shocked to find that Rachel was now on the verge of tears. But before he could ask her what was wrong, the young girl began to cry hard, burying her face into his warm chest as she began to wail. Feeling his heart break as he listened to her wails, the young boy wrapped his arms tightly around her as they sunk to their knees, continuing to let her cry as he gently stroked her golden locks.

"Why do I have to be in love with you! Why do you have to be in love with me! ", she screamed through her tears.

"Why do we have to love each other! Why do we have to suffer like this! Why couldn't we just meet as normal people! Why', she screamed as she continued to cry, the raven-haired boy patiently sitting there as he listened to her, continuing to gently stroke her hair as he did.

"I don know…but even with that in mind Rachel…I'm glad that I met you", he spoke in a soft yet satisfied tone. And as he spoke those words, the young blonde looked up at him surprise.

"R-Really", she asked.

"Yes…I'm happy that I'm in love with someone as wonderful as you…even if it painful at times", he gently spoke as he wiped away the tears from her eyes. And as he did, the young girl could not help but smile sweetly at him.

"I feel the exact same way…I'm glad that I love someone as sweet and wonderful as you Patton…even if sometimes my heart can't take the pain it causes me", she sweetly stated as she caressed his strong cheek, causing him to smile sweetly at her.

Entranced by each others sweet looks, the two young lovers leaned in once more for another kiss, continuing their eternal bliss with one another. Like the last two kisses however, the moment of eternity ended upon them coming up for a breath of fresh air, staring lovingly into each others eyes as they did.

"Well…now that we've gotten that out of the way, I think it's only fair that you owe up an explanation for all of this", he spoke in a mischievous tone, his trade-mark grin beginning to surface onto his face.

"Really? I'm surprised you didn't catch onto my well laid-out plan this time. Seeing as how you usually do", she replied in a devious tone.

"Oh I got why did what you did…I just don't get why we had to duel each other", the young boy remarked.

"Well…I can explain that over Ice Cream. That is…if you want some", she replied in a sweet, yet devious manner.

"Sure…I'd like that", he replied with a sweet smile, causing her to blush a light shade of pink.

Smiling sweetly at each other, the young lovers picked up their weapons and brought themselves to their feet. Holding out his gloved hand to her, Rachel gently placed her soft hand in his and the two began to walk towards the exit, their conversation adding up to nothing more then them conversing over who should pay for the Ice Cream. As they walked away, the virtual reality around them began to melt away and leaving itself behind, just as they had done in order to be together, in spite of the suffering they have both endured.

The End

Disclaimer- I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door. It is the soul property of Tom Warburton, Curious Pictures, and Cartoon Network.


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